So Much for the Afterglow
by Sushi Chi
Summary: Puck tries to be romantic but nothing really goes to plan. Puck/Kurt


**Disclaimer: I don't know why you'd even think that I own Glee. Because I don't. Though I happen to own a chalkboard in the shape of a pig. Which is kinda awesome.  
A/N: Not exactly sure where this idea came from, but I enjoyed it. And my housemate enjoyed the finished project. Yeah, that's about it. I guess.**

"It's an empty house." Kurt stated in a monotone voice. "Please tell me your mom hasn't changed her mind about us and threw you out and so you've resorted to squatting."

"Ma's still okay with us. In fact lately she's been Google'ing stuff and keeps printing junk off and leaving them for me to find. Stuff like how to treat your gay boyfriend right, what the meanings are behind flowers are and how to properly use a condom along with what type of lube is the best." Puck shivered a bit. "And then the other day at breakfast she told me she was proud of me because '_the homosexuals went to those camps with the Jewish, Noah. This is a big step in your life and if you need help hitting that nice boy Kurt's prostrate I know a good Google-site that explains the best way how_.'"

"Oh my God." Kurt stopped walking and stared at his boyfriend in horror.

"I know." Puck nodded, "I started choking on my cereal when she said that. I kinda got up and walked away. Though Sarah was laughing like a hyena."

"And I thought my dad was bad when he left some condoms under my pillow. Like a deranged tooth fairy." Kurt voiced.

Puck's brow furrowed, "Were those the strawberry flavored ones?"

Kurt sighed, "Yes."

"Those were hot." Puck pointed at Kurt.

"Stop pointing your finger at me before I bite it off." Kurt said in an icy tone.

"I'll give you something to bite." Puck leered.

Rolling his eyes, Kurt did give a slight smile before schooling his features, "None of this explains why you've taken me to an empty house."

"I'm friends the realtor and she let me borrow the key. Long as we have it looking clean and ready to show when we leave." Puck answered, brandishing the key as he said this.

Kurt looked him up and down, "And by friend you mean MILF."

"I don't do that anymore." Puck growled, "And no, actually. I did clean her pool and all but she doesn't sleep around on her wife." Kurt raised his eyebrows, "Exactly. When I mentioned I wanted to do something special for my boyfriend she insisted." Pausing with the key in the lock, he said, "Close your eyes." Kurt sighed but did as he was told.

Kurt stood in the doorway as Puck walked in, lighter in hand. He quietly went about the room, lighting candles that were strategically placed around the area, so as to make sure it was bright enough to see clearly yet dim enough for the romantic light. Halfway through, Puck tripped on a lamp cord and a noise got caught in his throat as he fell. Wincing, he moved his arm slightly as he sat up, making sure he didn't actually damage it. "Noah? What was that?"

"It's nothing Kurt." Puck sighed as he got up and muttered a curse.

"You fell." Kurt was suddenly in front of him. And his eyes were open.

"I haven't finished lighting all the candles. You're not supposed to have your eyes open yet." Puck pouted.

Kurt ignored him and placed a hand on Puck's arm. "Let me finish lighting the candles." Bending down after making sure Puck was actually okay he grabbed the lighter and fluttered about the room finishing it. Turning, he smiled at Puck. "So, this is romantic."

Puck grinned. "I hope so."

"But why?" Kurt sat down on the sofa and Puck joined him. "It's not an anniversary or a holiday. Let alone a birthday. I haven't been angry at you so you don't have to apologize. Why?"

"Puckzilla needs a reason to be romantic for his Princess?" Puck defended. And when Kurt just raised an eyebrow and looked at him cooly Puck continued. "Okay. Okay." He held up his hands in defeat, "This is an anniversary, actually."

Kurt looked confused, "Of what?"

Making eye contact, Puck answered, "The day I decided I wanted to fuck your sweet ass into a mattress."

Kurt took a breath, "Ooh." Swallowing, he continued, "And what made you decide that you wanted to fuck my sweet as into a mattress that day?"

"You were eating a popsicle." Puck answered simply.

Kurt didn't appear surprised, "Of course." He patted Puck on the leg, "I'm so glad my need for something cold and wet in my mouth made you realize the potential of you and me."

Puck smirked. "Ah, but we can replace the something cold and wet with something warm and wet."

Sighting, Kurt replied, "I believe this supposed to be romantic?"

"Right." Puck nodded and grabbed a blanket that'd been resting on the arm of the sofa. Throwing it down on the floor, he flattened it out and sat down. "Come on." He patted the area beside him.

Kurt was giving a slight smile as he sauntered over and daintily sat down next to Puck. "A picnic?"

"Those're romantic." Puck protested.

"Generally they're outside." Kurt felt the need to inform him.

Puck nodded, "As are bugs and birds who might shit on your clothing."

"Oh, I see." Kurt started, "You're being thoughtful. How nice."

"Glad you see it that way." Puck stated. He turned and reaching behind a chair brought out a picnic basket. Opening it up he took out two small Tupperware tubs, handing one of them over he looked slightly embarrassed. "I just want to say that even though I'm a badass in the kitchen, Ma had kicked me out of the room before I could really make anything."

Kurt opened his Tupperware tub and saw a sandwich. Lifting the top slice of bread, Kurt said, "Peanut butter and jelly?"

"Strawberry jelly." Puck hummed happily. "Like those condoms. Yum."

And next to the sandwich lay two other types of food, "Oreos." Kurt stated, "And potato chips." He immediately started putting a few of his chips on his sandwich. After taking a bite, he paused, "Wait. On this date you realized that you wanted to fuck me into a mattress and then it took you three months to ask me out on a date?"

"It's fuck your sweet ass into a mattress." Puck corrected the term.

Rolling his eyes, Kurt said, "Whatever. But it still took you three months. And even then you didn't really ask me out. You tackled me in the hallway - which hurt by the way, and then informed me that you were going to pick me up at six-thirty so I had to make sure I was ready."

"Fairy certain my words were '_I'm gonna be picking up my Princess at six-thirty tonight for our first kickass date so you'd better make sure your all dolled up and ready for your ride of the Puckerman Express_.'" Puck shrugged, "Okay. So I had three months of doing the straight-gay-freak-out-thing. But I came to terms with the awesomeness that I'd become."

Kurt nodded and tried to hide his smile at his boyfriend's antics. "I'm thirsty. Please tell me you thought about bringing something to drink."

"I was only able to find some bottled water." Puck grabbed one and handed it over, "But if you want something else to drink, let me know." He waggled his eyebrow suggestively.

"Do I need to remind you again, that you're trying to be romantic?" Kurt asked.

"Sex is romantic." Puck informed him, "'S'why they call it making love."

Finishing the last of his Oreos Kurt set his Tupperware aside, along with his bottle of water and stood. "Well, if we're going to be romantic, we should dance."

Puck, having finished eating before Kurt, stood quickly. "Oh yeah? Like hot, grinding action?"

"How is that romantic?" Kurt clicked his tongue, "Nope. We're going to do proper dances."

Puck paled slightly and looked down at his feet, "I kinda, don't know how, to, y'know. Dance that way." he looked up then, "B'sides. Who'd be the girl? You? You're smaller." He tilted his head and studied Kurt's body.

"You can't be the man," Kurt sneered, "You can't lead. I'm going to teach you the fox trot. It's a fairly simple dance." He proceeded to show Puck the steps he'd be doing as the girl part and what to say to himself. Slow, Slow, Together, Quick, Quick.

"We can't do this." Puck protested when they were getting in position. He didn't like being the girl in the dance, "We have no music."

"I'll sing or hum." Kurt stated, "Because we're going to dance. Now, follow my lead." He managed to get Puck dancing somewhat well. A few times Puck stepped on his toes and the one time Kurt had stepped on Puck's he explained that Puck cannot complain because he's wearing to steel-toed boots and didn't feel a thing. Besides, Puck's foot shouldn't've been there. It's not his fault.

After being able to relax and get a good feel of the dance, Puck ended up tripping on that damn lamp cord again, his body hitting into Kurt's and they both fell this time. After laying for a second, Puck scrambled up, "Dude, you okay?"

"Don't call me 'Dude'." Kurt snapped as he sat up slowly and flexed his fingers a bit, "I think I'm alright." He looked up, "You?"

"I'm good." Puck helped Kurt up and they sat down on the sofa. "The dance was fun."

"Yes, I'm glad I forced you to do it." Kurt smiled and leaned up against his boyfriend, "And then- Oh Shit!"

"What?" Puck quick looked at where Kurt was staring, "What The Fuck?"

The two teenagers got up and ran over to the small area rug that was on fire. "When we fell we had to've knocked over a candle." Kurt said, turning around to where their water bottles were.

"She's gonna murder me." Puck whined, wringing his hands.

"Don't be a baby." Kurt shoved a bottle in Puck's grasp as he uncapped his own. "We're going to fix this and she won't know." Dumping the water on the small fire, it went out. They stood, staring at the rug that was soaking wet and had a whole in it. "Get rid of the rug. I'm going to scrub the floor and see if I can get rid of the evidence." Kurt ordered.

"But she knows there was a rug there." Puck cried out.

Kurt put both of his hands on Puck's shoulders and looked at him cooly, "We are going to fix this Puck. I can't afford to have your friend murder you. I need a date to Prom. Now trust me."

Puck nodded and did as he was told. Kurt turned on the light and went looking for cleaning supplies. When Puck came back inside he saw Kurt scrubbing some at the floor and so he blew the candles out. After a few minutes Kurt declared that the floor was fine and unmarred. "Now, we're going to buy a new rug. One that looks similar to the one that we've ruined." He grabbed Puck's hand and drug him outside, "Do you know what stores are open?"

Puck glanced at his watch. The problem was that he'd been starting the date late - so that the candle light was actually needed. And they'd danced for a while. "I don't think anything is open."

"Well, drive around and we'll look for something." Kurt said and so Puck started his truck and they drove around town. Most of the stores were dark, and the ones that were still open wouldn't have rugs and even if they did, it wouldn't be the rug they wanted.

"She's going to kill me." Puck slapped his hand on the steering wheel.

"Stop saying that." Kurt glared, "I've already told you that I won't let that happen."

They drove around for a bit and checked out one store that'd still been open but had no luck. It was when they were stopped at a red light that Puck grinned, "Hey, I work at Sheets-N-Things."

"And?"

"We've got rugs." Puck said with a smirk.

"But Sheets-N-Things is closed right now." Kurt frowned, "I don't see how this helps us."

"I," Puck paused for dramatic effect, "have a key."

Kurt grinned.

The drive to Sheets-N-Things was quick and they exited Puck's truck whispering to each other. "You won't set off any alarms, will you? I can't get arrested. Orange jumpsuits are not a look I can pull off."

"Don't worry, babe." Puck replied, "Like I said, I have a key. I open the store some mornings. No alarms will go off. And if we go to jail I'll protect you."

"How kind." Kurt's tone was dry.

"You'll be my bitch." Puck smirked. Putting the key in the lock, the door opened silently and Puck quickly ushered them inside the building. "Aw, man." He moaned as soon as he shut the door and they were in the dark. "We really shouldn't turn on any of the lights. People would see it."

"And we don't have flashlights." Kurt frowned, "This makes things so much easier." He sighed and then reached into his pocket, "Though, Noah. We do have cell phones." He held his own phone up and the light from it didn't penetrate the dark much, but it did help.

Puck followed suit and held his cell up in the air. "Rugs are this way." he lead them around the store, running into something that stuck out on a lower shelf once and tripping on who knows what.

When they got to the section of the store with the area rugs, they separated and started looking at them. The light from the cell phones making it hard to tell the colors and sometimes the designs of what they were looking at.

"Kurt." Noah said and he saw Kurt's silhouette turn towards him, "I think I have a flashlight in the glove compartment of my truck."

"Of course you do." Kurt didn't sound amused. "Alright. You go get it. I'll wait here."

A few minutes later they were bickering over who should hold the flashlight and not looking at the rugs. "It's my flashlight."

"And considering how long it took you to remember you had one? I think I should be able to hold it." Kurt protested.

"It's also where I work and my special anniversary. I should continue holding the flashlight." Puck held on tightly.

"You're trying to be romantic." Kurt said, "And a romantic thing to do is give me the flashlight."

Puck growled and handed it over. "Fine. But know that it's just because I'm being romantic - like you said."

"Good to know." Kurt rolled his eyes before turning to the rugs. After picking out five that might match they discussed more on which rug they should take. The light had to move from rug to rug as they looked at the smallest details and Kurt quizzed Puck on what the original rug had looked like. Though it turned out that Puck hadn't paid much attention. Sighing, Kurt imagined the room in his mind and thought about which of the five rugs would look best in it. Grabbing one he said, "This one. Let's go."

Only when leaving, Kurt paused by a cash register, "Noah, get back here."

Puck turned around and raised an eyebrow, "Yeah?"

"We should pay." Kurt declared.

"What?"

"Otherwise it's stealing." Kurt said. "And I don't think it'd go over well if you got caught stealing from work."

"Honestly, Kurt," Puck said, "I don't think it'd go over well if I was caught here after hours. Let's just go."

"No, they'll know someone stole something." Kurt glared. "We're paying for it." He shone the flight light on the rug, looking for a price tag.

"Well, if you're all hell bent on paying then at least use my employee discount." Puck said.

Thinking for a second, Kurt nodded, "Okay. Sure. How much is your discount worth?"

"Ten percent off anything we buy." Puck said.

And so Kurt left some cash on the counter (Puck may have had the key to get into the store, but not a key to get into a cash register) and a note that said it was for a rug. Getting back in the truck, they made their way to the empty house.

Kurt laid the rug down where the old one was and decided that it looked fine and Puck wouldn't be murdered. Which is good because he'd been thinking of buying some more strawberry flavored condoms. They picked up all the candles and put the blanket back on the side of the sofa before grabbing the Tupperware and shutting off all the lights.

When they'd parked outside of Kurt's house, he turned to Puck and smiled, "Y'know, Noah. I'm sure this night didn't go as planned-"

"Got that right."

"-but it was still romantic and I have to say an adventure." Leaning in they shared a kiss before he smirked and said, "Can't wait to see how your plans for our real anniversary can top tonight."


End file.
